23rd Oct 2024
“Feeling doesn’t always have to be about being happy.”
- Happiness is something we must actively pursue.
- It’s primarily about how we choose to face our circumstances rather than the circumstances themselves.
These statements are not entirely right or wrong. They are true to the extent they need to be, but extreme versions can be harmful.
When we think too much about being happy, we tend to avoid feelings of sadness or confusion. We want to shy away from problems, and if negative emotions like sadness, confusion, or pressure arise, we might feel guilty about them. It’s like putting on a mask, pretending everything is fine while we are actually struggling.
When others are sad or anxious, we find it hard to empathize, thinking it only brings us down. We don’t express our feelings to anyone; we keep them bottled up. We may not want to acknowledge this feeling, fearing we might appear weak or vulnerable.
That’s why it’s said that feeling doesn’t always need to be about being happy. When we encounter sadness, it’s normal to feel sad. When things don’t go as planned, it’s natural to feel down. We may feel hopeless at times, or experience anger; these are all normal human emotions. Wanting to be positive all the time can lead to more problems.
Thus, there might be people around us who seem to always be upbeat, full of hope, and generally happy (I know many perceive me as such too).
However, they also have moments when they manage their feelings, express their emotions, and confront their challenges. It’s not feasible to be positive all the time.
What’s visible to others is just a facade. Behind that facade, there are many adjustments and preparations made. It’s important to remember that no one can stay happy all the time.
Managing our emotions involves various approaches. It will depend on the problems we are facing. Engaging in small joys, journaling, listening to music, or opening up to someone are all ways to cope.
For me, having someone who listens to my feelings without judgment brings a lot of relief. It’s comforting to know I won’t be judged or pressured to respond.
This is why it’s essential to open up. There’s no obligation to share with anyone unless you feel comfortable, but if you’re hesitant to talk to someone knowledgeable or fear leaving things unsaid, I’d like to introduce you to the Yours TODAY Program.
It’s an initiative from Today Psychology Classes, where trained volunteer listeners provide a safe space for you to express yourself.
If you’re interested, I encourage you to join! I will provide a link to the program guidelines and registration in the comments. Thank you!
If you need any adjustments or further translations, feel free to ask!
Credit Dr.Phio Thia
